Understanding Marriage and Family

"A  house divided  against itself cannot stand"-President Abraham Lincoln. This quote was given by Abraham Lincoln, explaining that as long as the country was divided in their stance on slavery, they would not stand. The opposite of standing-falling. 620,000 souls died during the Civil War. Our country, our freedom, means something. Hundreds of years earlier, Christ walked on the Earth. When He came to the Americas, he commanded them not to dispute. 3Nephi 11:28-29: "   28  And according as I have commanded you thus shall ye baptize. And there shall be no   disputations   among you, as there have hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.   29  For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another."       Christ taught

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be God? Have you ever considered that He gives us an opportunity to feel that way right here on Earth?       " When your first child is born, you become a father. The title  father  is sacred and eternal. It is significant that of all the titles of respect and honor and admiration that are given to Deity, He has asked us to address Him as Father. (the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, ' Father, Consider Your Ways')." And of course, mothers are given the same opportunity. Being a parent is the closest we can get to feeling what God feels.       Parents, like God, set rules and boundaries for their children. The rules are meant to protect children and keep them safe. Some parents experience rebellion from their children. The child sometimes demands to not get any punishment for rebelling, saying that they shouldn't be loved any less for 'choosing their own way'. But they do not understand that by disobeying them,

     “Pornographic or erotic stories and pictures are worse than filthy or polluted food. The body has defenses to rid itself of unwholesome food. With a few fatal exceptions, bad food will only make you sick but do no permanent harm. In contrast, a person who feasts upon filthy stories or pornographic or erotic pictures and literature records them in this marvelous retrieval system we call a brain. The brain won’t vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind and drawing you away from the wholesome things in life.”-Elder Oaks      The drug of today is the easiest to access and is attacking men (and women) of all ages. This isn't something we should be ignoring or pretending isn't there. It is poison. You wouldn't ignore your child if they ingested poison, do not ignore them if they have ingested pornography. There are steps to remove poison that need to be taken immediately. The longer you let it s

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints understand that family is central to God's plan. It says so right here in the Family, a Proclamation to the World: " W E, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY  and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."  Okay, so what about it? Well, if it's central to God's plan, then I would think that it's also central to Satan's plan-to destroy that plan. I have seen this both before getting married and after getting married.       Recently, I was talking to a co-worker about my husband. She said, "And what made you want to get married? I mean, you're just so young!" I was too taken aback to come up with an intelligent reply so I just said, "Um, because I love him???" It was kind of a

Prince Humperdink seemed to have the right idea...it's about a man and  wife. It's like trying to have chocolate chip cookies without the chocolate chips. Or Cupcakes with no frosting. Or Disneyland without Mickey Mouse. I'm sure you get my point. President Hinckley said, "In His grand design, when God first created man, He created a duality of the sexes. The ennobling expression of that duality is found in marriage. One individual is complementary to the other. As Paul stated, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11)."       Elder Ballard gives a phenomenal talk on men and women and Priesthood power. It's called, "Men, Women, and Priesthood Power." Check out this picture he uses throughout his talk to make his point: I really like the way he puts this. Men and women are equal, balancing each other. We are similar, all children of God, but we have our different purposes and charac

It's been a while since I've updated my blog, but I wanted to continue it, even though my class has ended. I'm in a new class now called Eternal Families. You can probably guess what it's about. I have been reading multiple talks a week-sometimes a day-about families and the different roles of those in the family. Recently I read a talk from one of our late apostles, Elder Boyd K. Packer. He shared a parable that I'd like to share here:                “Once a man received as his inheritance two keys. The first key, he was told, would open a vault which he must protect at all cost. The second key was to a safe within the vault which contained a priceless treasure. He was to open this safe and freely use the precious things which were stored therein. He was warned that many would seek to rob him of his inheritance. He was promised that if he used the treasure worthily, it would be replenished and never be diminished, not in all eternity. He would be tested. If he

     So you want to not be a sucky parent? Well, get in line! No one wants to be a sucky parent (we should hope) but they are not sure how. All hope is not lost. Why do we want to be parents anyway? Well, we begin to realize that wants we die, that's it. There will never be another one of us ever in the world. In a way, we want to leave our mark in the world. Why not do it with a mini version of ourselves? We want to socialize our children, and "Protect and prepare to survive and thrive in the world." Interestingly enough, when you look at a mom and dad holding a child, they hold the child differently. Usually, mothers will hold the child facing towards them, towards safety and protection. Dads will hold children facing the world, as a way to prepare them for what they will face. I think it's a natural instinct more than an actual decision to hold the child that way.       There are certain steps we need to take when disciplining children. First, give a polite reques

Okay, so the test is life. And if you want to be chill with God, you might want to do well on this test. Actually, your absolute best. And news flash, that perfect family that keeps posting pictures of their perfect family on social media? Yeah, they are not exempt from this test. Anyone who is alive on this Earth right now is part of this test. Everyone. There's no free-be's, shortcuts, or opt-outs. But, there is a way to endure. And that is through...yep, you guessed it. The gospel! The gospel of Jesus Christ that is.      So what is so hard about life? Well, if you have to ask that, then something is seriously wrong with you. Because everyone knows that. But did you know that some 90% of divorces can be linked back to a financial dispute? Yeah. Money. It's a killer. We love it so much but really, money loves no one. Because it doesn't have a heart. Or legs. Or body parts at all really.     In my class, we have an effective way of putting this-$tre$$. But it doesn&

Take a trip with me back in time. Way back. To the beginning. Adam and Eve were a family unit. They worked together with their kids. They taught them the gospel of course, but they weren't going to get food unless someone farmed it, harvested it, and plucked it. And they all worked together to have a living. Genesis 1:28 says, "   28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be  fruitful , and  multiply , and  replenish  the  earth , and subdue it: and have  dominion  over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." Adam and Eve worked together. Work brings us together. As time went on, families still worked together to earn their living. Farmers had every son and daughter on hand doing some form of work to help keep up the farm. But as the industrial revolution hit, only men would go to work. Not saying that it is bad for men to work and no one else to, but something was lost along the way. Today, kids

If you think for one second that there is a family out there that is perfect, you are wrong. Only Jesus is perfect. EVERY family has it's struggles. It just so happens that maybe some people can deal with their struggles better than others. I'm not about to say that one family's struggles are easier than another's because I don't really believe that either. I just believe that no matter the struggle, you can get help. For example, I heard a story of a family whose son had sexually molested his young sister and brother. He was sent off to a rehabilitation center for two years and hadn't spoken to anyone from his family for those two years. They finally went to therapy as a family and got the help they needed. They were able to find forgiveness for themselves and for this son/brother. No matter what the world throws at a family, there is hope and help for everyone-all dependent on whether or not they are willing to accept the help and change.       It is also imp

What does Intimate mean? Well, as Brother Williams puts it, it means being "in to ma mate"! It's a miracle that with how different we are as men and women, we manage to love each other and be married for years. There are three things that tell a counselor how successful a couple will be-1) how is their marital intimacy. 2) Collaborative set (what do they contribute to the rifts in the relationship). 3) How committed are they to the relationship.         Intimacy    Why would success in marriage correlate to intimacy? Kind of a dumb question. You got to be into your mate right?! It's more than just "having sex". Instead of looking at it like that, try looking at it as "making love". As a married couple, you want to make love with your partner, not "do them". Making love is how you show your love too. It's a way to bind yourself to your partner. In women, there is a chemical released during love making called Oxytocin. It causes th

"It would be better to live in a tent than live with mom and dad as newly weds."-Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the 12 apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Being a newly wed is hard-for quite a few reasons. But it would appear that figure things out on your own with your spouse is healthy for you. It is important to build a relationship with your spouse during these difficult beginning times and establish your own family of origin (rather than re-establishing your relationship with your parents. Getting married is a big deal. And it's hard. But being there for your partner is important.     It's been shown that on average, the overall happiness of a married couple goes down after each child is born. We can only imagine why-having a baby is hard! They are a huge handful. But it doesn't have to bring your joy down as a couple. There are a few key things we can do to prevent unsatisfaction in a marriage when having kids. Involve each o

    Being single is tough. Well, I can say that because I am. I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak from what I've observed. And what I've observed is that dating is hard. That's right, the "D" word. I get so discourage that I don't even really want to hear that stinking word anymore.     But why? Why is it so hard and frustrating and confusing? And I'm not saying that I am an expert or anything, but maybe the things I've learned will help us all to simplify dating.     Where to start. Well how about with the first date. I think we all get it into our heads that the first date means something way more than it is. We think that there has to be a lot more before the first date, or "Hanging Out". Elderly people gasp and cringe at the word. Why? Because it's horrid. It's horrid in the way that we get comfortable "hanging out" instead of dating each other. We think that we have to be into this person romantically befo

In the Family: a Proclamation to the World, it states, " ALL HUMAN BEINGS —male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." I believe this statement whole heartedly. God made us who and how we are for a reason. It is more rare than common that people mentally can't grasp who they are. Too often we attribute what people identify with being as just a mentally handicapped. But this is hardly ever the case. We are who we are and that is that. Watch this video and find out what some people's stance is on our understanding of identity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfO1veFs6Ho     Stand up for truth, not what is popular. 

I believe in look at the facts, of understanding truth. This is highly controversial, of course. And everyone has a right to their own opinions, but, I think it's important to know the facts and be informed. This is my wish for those reading this post-is to inform. Before reading on, I highly recommend watching this video, which explains same sex attraction. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM     In this video, it describes that no one is born with same-sex attraction. There are possible factors that play into being homosexual and the video discusses some of these, such as: Wounded gender identity, bullying, father hunger, mother confusion,inappropriate touch, and pornography. The video interviews a couple of men who have overcome same-sex attractions with the help of therapy. They discuss feelings of depression. They feel unhappy with being homosexual and don't feel fulfilled, even after engaging in homosexual activity. They were able to reach out to therapists an