Understanding Marriage and Family

     So you want to not be a sucky parent? Well, get in line! No one wants to be a sucky parent (we should hope) but they are not sure how. All hope is not lost. Why do we want to be parents anyway? Well, we begin to realize that wants we die, that's it. There will never be another one of us ever in the world. In a way, we want to leave our mark in the world. Why not do it with a mini version of ourselves? We want to socialize our children, and "Protect and prepare to survive and thrive in the world." Interestingly enough, when you look at a mom and dad holding a child, they hold the child differently. Usually, mothers will hold the child facing towards them, towards safety and protection. Dads will hold children facing the world, as a way to prepare them for what they will face. I think it's a natural instinct more than an actual decision to hold the child that way.       There are certain steps we need to take when disciplining children. First, give a polite reques

Okay, so the test is life. And if you want to be chill with God, you might want to do well on this test. Actually, your absolute best. And news flash, that perfect family that keeps posting pictures of their perfect family on social media? Yeah, they are not exempt from this test. Anyone who is alive on this Earth right now is part of this test. Everyone. There's no free-be's, shortcuts, or opt-outs. But, there is a way to endure. And that is through...yep, you guessed it. The gospel! The gospel of Jesus Christ that is.      So what is so hard about life? Well, if you have to ask that, then something is seriously wrong with you. Because everyone knows that. But did you know that some 90% of divorces can be linked back to a financial dispute? Yeah. Money. It's a killer. We love it so much but really, money loves no one. Because it doesn't have a heart. Or legs. Or body parts at all really.     In my class, we have an effective way of putting this-$tre$$. But it doesn&

Take a trip with me back in time. Way back. To the beginning. Adam and Eve were a family unit. They worked together with their kids. They taught them the gospel of course, but they weren't going to get food unless someone farmed it, harvested it, and plucked it. And they all worked together to have a living. Genesis 1:28 says, "   28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be  fruitful , and  multiply , and  replenish  the  earth , and subdue it: and have  dominion  over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." Adam and Eve worked together. Work brings us together. As time went on, families still worked together to earn their living. Farmers had every son and daughter on hand doing some form of work to help keep up the farm. But as the industrial revolution hit, only men would go to work. Not saying that it is bad for men to work and no one else to, but something was lost along the way. Today, kids

If you think for one second that there is a family out there that is perfect, you are wrong. Only Jesus is perfect. EVERY family has it's struggles. It just so happens that maybe some people can deal with their struggles better than others. I'm not about to say that one family's struggles are easier than another's because I don't really believe that either. I just believe that no matter the struggle, you can get help. For example, I heard a story of a family whose son had sexually molested his young sister and brother. He was sent off to a rehabilitation center for two years and hadn't spoken to anyone from his family for those two years. They finally went to therapy as a family and got the help they needed. They were able to find forgiveness for themselves and for this son/brother. No matter what the world throws at a family, there is hope and help for everyone-all dependent on whether or not they are willing to accept the help and change.       It is also imp

What does Intimate mean? Well, as Brother Williams puts it, it means being "in to ma mate"! It's a miracle that with how different we are as men and women, we manage to love each other and be married for years. There are three things that tell a counselor how successful a couple will be-1) how is their marital intimacy. 2) Collaborative set (what do they contribute to the rifts in the relationship). 3) How committed are they to the relationship.         Intimacy    Why would success in marriage correlate to intimacy? Kind of a dumb question. You got to be into your mate right?! It's more than just "having sex". Instead of looking at it like that, try looking at it as "making love". As a married couple, you want to make love with your partner, not "do them". Making love is how you show your love too. It's a way to bind yourself to your partner. In women, there is a chemical released during love making called Oxytocin. It causes th

"It would be better to live in a tent than live with mom and dad as newly weds."-Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the 12 apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Being a newly wed is hard-for quite a few reasons. But it would appear that figure things out on your own with your spouse is healthy for you. It is important to build a relationship with your spouse during these difficult beginning times and establish your own family of origin (rather than re-establishing your relationship with your parents. Getting married is a big deal. And it's hard. But being there for your partner is important.     It's been shown that on average, the overall happiness of a married couple goes down after each child is born. We can only imagine why-having a baby is hard! They are a huge handful. But it doesn't have to bring your joy down as a couple. There are a few key things we can do to prevent unsatisfaction in a marriage when having kids. Involve each o

    Being single is tough. Well, I can say that because I am. I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak from what I've observed. And what I've observed is that dating is hard. That's right, the "D" word. I get so discourage that I don't even really want to hear that stinking word anymore.     But why? Why is it so hard and frustrating and confusing? And I'm not saying that I am an expert or anything, but maybe the things I've learned will help us all to simplify dating.     Where to start. Well how about with the first date. I think we all get it into our heads that the first date means something way more than it is. We think that there has to be a lot more before the first date, or "Hanging Out". Elderly people gasp and cringe at the word. Why? Because it's horrid. It's horrid in the way that we get comfortable "hanging out" instead of dating each other. We think that we have to be into this person romantically befo