How to NOT Be a Sucky Parent

     So you want to not be a sucky parent? Well, get in line! No one wants to be a sucky parent (we should hope) but they are not sure how. All hope is not lost. Why do we want to be parents anyway? Well, we begin to realize that wants we die, that's it. There will never be another one of us ever in the world. In a way, we want to leave our mark in the world. Why not do it with a mini version of ourselves? We want to socialize our children, and "Protect and prepare to survive and thrive in the world." Interestingly enough, when you look at a mom and dad holding a child, they hold the child differently. Usually, mothers will hold the child facing towards them, towards safety and protection. Dads will hold children facing the world, as a way to prepare them for what they will face. I think it's a natural instinct more than an actual decision to hold the child that way. 
     There are certain steps we need to take when disciplining children. First, give a polite request (Ex: Jill, could you please clean up this room?). Then if that doesn't work, use an I-Message (Jill, I noticed that you haven't cleaned up this room yet. I feel like you don't care about me when you do this. I would like it if you did things when I asked). If Jill is still being a punk, try being firmer. And lastly, give a logical consequence (the consequence has to make sense for the act). 
     Basically, we all just need love. More specifically, children need contact and belonging. Everyone gets their physical contact needs met in some way or another-some with handshakes, some with hugs, some simply with eye contact. Kids need to feel that you love them and contact is the best way to show this. They also need to feel like they belong. We can achieve this by giving them responsibilities-letting them help make dinner, do their laundry, plan a family activity, etc. Let them know that you value their opinion and need them in the family. 
    We all have regrets. I think parents will always have the most regrets. But we are not alone. There is help. Let God, the best parent in the universe, be a guide and teacher. You'll know what kind of a parent you are when your kids start to be parents and are raising their own kids. 

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